Tuesday, February 26, 2013

Musing of a Conflicted Mind

So I've know for a few months now that I want to make writing and being an author my life's work and so I want to get a MFA in creative writing.

My first choice was going to be Manchester Metropolitan University in Manchester, England but the funding I would need was a bit much and they don't offer nearly as much student funding as many US schools. I fell in love with Manchester when I did my study abroad semester there in 2010. They actual have a extremely awesome program and writing community with acclaimed faculty and excellent classes. They even host a bevy of writing competitions that do accept international entries. For me it would just cost too much and I am done with taking loans to pay for school. I did that as a ignorant undergrad and I'm not going to just keep doing the same thing over and over again.

So I turned my eye to US schools and stumbled across two in the North Carolina that I want to apply to. One is at my alma mater University of North Carolina at Greensboro and the second is at North Carolina State University. Now I already know how UNCG operates and run as I got my BA from there so while its appealing to stay on my home turf I do want to push myself and get outside of my protective bubble. Not that stepping out on my own is a scary concept. I relish the journey I just don't get the chance to do it as often as I would like so I'm thinking that NC State is going to be the only home school that I will apply to.

The second school that I'm looking at is University of Texas at Austin. They're program seems to fit my personality. Basically they will leave you alone to do what you do best. Write. On top of that they fully fund all of their students with a very generous stipend that will have you living comfortably in Austin. As the cost of living in Texas is still well below the national average. Austin is a lively and vibrant city that is suited for the quirky writer looking for a place to fly their freak flag high and proud.

I graduated from a Texas high school and while living in Copperas Cove, a small town 45 minutes from Austin was enough to drive me from the Lone Star state with a vow never to return unless I am piloting a DeathStar I feel UT calling my name. Of course going back to Texas will be a different experience this time because I will be returning as an adult with the freedom to go and do what I please.  With the money not to worry about paying for gas or buying food.

However I said all of that to say that what scares me the most is the actual writing sample. In the past I've had a few things here and there published. Mostly poetry when I was younger and more recently articles for UNCG's school newspaper, The Carolinian, some online blogs and magazines and fandom blogs. I wouldn't go as far to say that those pieces weren;t serious because I took them seriously and I put in as much effort into those offerings and I have anything else in my life that I considered worthy of my time.

This writing sample would actually be my first attempt at being a real writer. People in the industry will review my work and based on my abilities to show that I have potential to make as an author they will accept or reject me for their programs. This is like waiting for someone to ask you to prom times a million. which is weird because I didn't even go to my prom. I was a nerd girl with self esteem issues, so sue me.

you would think its weird that someone who wants to be published would be squeamish about someone reading their work, but I am.

I know that in a few months I won't be as nervous. That's just how I operate, but now I'm a ball of nervous energy about ready to spin out of control. So I may need massive doses of Doctor Who and CAstle with a side helping of Cookies and Cream Ice Cream to calm me down before I start on my writing sample. I've got till September anyways. 

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