Friday, January 31, 2014

Book Babblings

We'll Always Have Paris by Jennifer Coburn 

The Nitty Gritty: Jennifer Coburn is a woman feeling the icy breath of the Grim Reaper down her back. The death of her father at the age of 19 introduced her to death far earlier than she would have liked. Though with his weed addiction and smoking habits I cannot fathom why she was not prepared for his passing.

Her fear of death prompted her to abandon real life, her husband (only for the summers spent traveling), snag her passport and daughter and trek through Europe like a star-eyed teenager seeking to truly find themselves, before she does the dance with the devil. 

This is the story of a perfectly healthy woman hellbent on learning to let go of her fear of dying, by learning to live. 


Opening Line:““Jail?!” my husband William shouted through the telephone.””

The Good: Any reason to get back to Europe and I’m on board. I grew up in the ancient ruins of Germany. Bavaria was my playground and I throughly enjoyed every minute of it. So much so that I am embarking on a masters program in the United Kingdom simply to reunite with Europe. 
Jennifer recalls that she has “never heard anyone talk about Paris without sighing,” the city of lights invokes a deep seeded love affair with all who grace her quaint streets and sidewalk cafes. I do love it when Americans embark on seeing more of the world. We are one of the few first world country where its citizens cannot recall all the state capitals let alone all the countries that make up Europe. The geographical education of our students is severally lacking and I for one think a healthy dose of traveling would do wonders to cure that.  

This book is a wonderful, little travelogue for those neophyte travelers who want a bit of hand holding as they experience their first overly aggressive TSA grope.  

The Bad: I myself, like many others, have sat down and written out a bucket list. After all I am only 33 and I feel that I have more than enough time to get all the things done that I want to before I die in a bed surrounded by my loving family, my collection of books and a life sized cutout of the 10th Doctor. 
So I understand the appeal of just getting up one day, saying ‘The hell with being a responsible adult’, snagging my passport and running off to find myself. Then reality sets in. I have bills to pay, responsibilities that don’t wait for me to find myself. Turning 18 is not just a mark of the passage of time. Its the closure of the childhood door. The time in every person’s life when they have to put on the mantle of adulthood and all the trappings that come with it. Though I have the responsibilities of an adult I do enjoy frequent flights of fancy into immature and childish things such as Spongebob Squarepants and Dylan’s Candy Bar. 

For me this book was the trip you fall into when you take bad acid. It just wasn’t realistic. This was a child’s petulant tantrum at having to experience real life. Instead of dealing with her problems she sets out on a series of avoidance trips that she undertakes under the guise of giving her daughter precious mother-daughter memories for her mental photo album. 

The opening gambit has our intrepid traveler calling home to alert her husband to her detention by the French police for jumping the fence to a locked playground. Her excuse for this crime? She didn’t understand the local culture. I am pretty sure that a locked door in the United States means do not enter the same as it does in France.

I found this anecdote neither amusing nor enduring. I have been detained in a foreign country and merely annoying my jailer did not result in a I Love Lucy bit, nor a laughing matter to be shared at a dinner party of my closets friends.   

We’ll Always Have Paris, is the musing of a woman that needed to take advantage of the excellent healthcare she seemed to have had with all of her unnecessary doctor visits, to go see a mental health profession for her death obsession and her Munchausen Syndrome. Oh she masked it well with her witty quips and beautifully applied anecdotes, but I believe that Mrs. Coburn would have benefitted greatly from seeking the counsel of a trained professional.  

This memoir just didn’t resonate with me. When I think of memories of my mother, who is very much alive and kicking anything in sight, that I’ve squirreled away in my mental scrap book, the everyday life lessons and smiles far outweigh those spectacular Supermom moments. I can recall the scent of her favorite perfume which is no longer made more readily than I can our harrowing elevator ride into the salt mines of Hitler’s Eagle Nest in the mountains of Germany. I can rattle off her favorite episodes of Murder, She Wrote easier than reciting her favorite Germany haunts on the streets of Stuttgart.

I concede that possibly I’m not her target audience as I grew up in Europe, and walking along the Rhine River were an every day occurrence for me and thus are not part of my bucket list, but I like to think that I should still be treated to a terrific story nonetheless. 

Final Thoughts: Jennifer Coburn, much like Michael Bay, thought a lot of explosions and splashes help people to remember your story. Contrary to popular belief, that just makes it harder to see as you stumble blindly down memory lane. I will always remember Paris, but after this book it might not be with such fond memories.     


Thursday, December 19, 2013

Book Babblings

Long Live the Queen by Kate Locke

The Nitty Gritty: This is the final installment of the Immortal Empire series. If Xandra thought taking the Goblin Queen crown was going to make her life easier she is sadly mistaken. Everyone is clamoring for her favor. They need the goblins on their side to win the war. Though the humans want to kill all artistos and goblins alike.

And Xanda Varden is ready to take on the whole world to keep those she loves safe, but how safe is it when the monster wears her face?

The Human League is out for blood and the aristos and goblins are just trying to stay alive as both sides hear up for war. But is there a traitor in the Varden camp?

Opening Line: "I had a corpse over my shoulder when I walked into the goblin den."

The Good: The pacing was good in the book. Just enough action to keep you from pulling your hair out and enough action to keep you pulling your hair out. There were surprises left and right and not the sort to piss you off, but the sort that make you wince but you keep turning the page.

I have to say that the byplay between Xandra and Victoria were spot on. I love that Locke showed the vampire queen of England with a little vulgarity. I am of the opinion that the British take their monarchs a tad too serious. So I like what Locke did with Her Nibs.

I am so in love with the Vex its not even funny. He is everything that a fictional lover should be. Strong, intelligent, gentle, sexy, in control, commanding....the list can and does go on and on. I love his relationship with Xandra. He is her rock when she needs a port in the storm. He is her shield when she rides into battle and he is the stick when the carrot doesn't work. He allows Xandra to figure out who she is and who she wants to be without any pressure to live up to who he wants her to be. And he loves her all the same. I don't understand why all literary men have to be buttholes and woman fall all over them like they are the ideal mates, but no one is saying anything about how wonderful Vex is. I blame this on that garbage 50 Shades of Grey.

The Bad: Xanda's superhero complex did get a little annoying in this book. Xandra is the sort of person that thinks if she doesn't do it it won't get done and it won't be right. So instead of trusting those around her she tries to take on every little thing herself without help. When her brother and sisters and especially Vex are more than capable of lending a helping hand.

I'm a steampunk neophyte I will admit, but the few that I have read have made a fan out of me and I love the genre now. This series was never heavily steampunk for me. I mean Locke always made mention of a few steampunk devices like a rotary or logic machine, but that was about it. I wanted more. A lot more.

Final Thoughts: This is a very good trilogy. It didn't try to be the next great British novel it just wanted to be a good book. I'm sad the ride is over, but like any great queen the Immortal Empire series knows when to leave a party. Locke has solidified herself in the urban fantasy/steampunk genre for me and I hope to enjoy many more of her novels to come.


Wednesday, October 23, 2013

My NaNoWriMo Idea



Title: Once Upon a Crime

Genre: fantasy

Protagonist: Maddox Snow, Ember Hood and Dorian Fa. The great-granddaughters of Snow White, Red Riding Hood and Fa Mulan respectively.

Other Main Characters: Chandler Grimm, disgraced godmother and proprietor of Grimm Detective Agency.

Antagonist: The Mirror Cabal, but more importantly Bobby Peoples. She is a shrew human trafficker of humans and Ever Afters alike.

Setting: Grimm, NC. It is a fictional city located in the mountains of NC. Right outside of Asheville on the fictional Highway 160. Grimm is the last Ever After enclave in the world. It started life as a small village and refuge for Ever Afters who couldn't blend into human society or who refused to mainstream.

Plot: In a world where fairy tales are real the Mirror Cabal runs vice in the city of Grimm. From human and Ever After trafficking to drug smuggling, racketeering, loan sharking, and money laundering they flood the city with crime, despair, and death. Madeline Hubbard or MaMa rules the cabal and the city with a ruby encrusted fist.

Chandler Grimm, of THOSE Grimms, a disgraced godmother looking to make a difference in the world she did all she could to destroy. She was drummed out of the Godmother Corp after a lifetime of corruption and decadent living. After her ousting she looked the other way while the Ever After enclave her ancestors helped build flushed itself down the toilet. After the murder of Theo Thumb she has had enough.

Chandler sets about righting the wrongs she let slide. Chandler recruits Dorian Fa, a burnt out lawyer slaving away at the Hall of Justice locking up every Shuffle gang member she can get her hands on. Ember Hood, the only reporter for the Grimm Tribune that will report on cabal activities despite the scare tactics. And Maddox Snow trophy wife looking for adventure with her vigilante night raids on rabbit hole processing centers. Together this motley crew will become Grimm's Angels and they will combat the spreading evil of the Mirror Cabal.

Their first target is Bobby Peoples, proprietor of the Ewe Group, and lowest totem on the Mirror Cabal. Bobby Peoples has lost a sheep and she will kill anyone to get her back. The bodies start to fall and its up to the Angels to put a stop to it and bring Bobby down.

Point of View: Its going to be third person but the focus is going to be on the Angels. 

Friday, October 11, 2013

Book Babbling

Amulet of Elusion by Katie Lynn Johnson 

The Nitty Gritty: Alexa Costa is a girl stuck in her hometown till she is 18 but some silly little law. Orphaned at a young age she is raised by a needle wielding swordmaster by the name of Ivy.

She makes the grand mistake of falling in love with Caleb Whitman, a finder of lost objects and all things antique from the forbidden island of San Lucero.

Her 18th birthday is the catapult that hurls this sheltered girl out into the big bad world, and she is shocked at what she finds and who she encounters. With the love of her life at her side and a budding magical power in her back pocket Alexa is going to show the world what a girl determined to never sew another dress can do.

Amulets, sea men, and butterfly kisses oh my!

Opening Line: "The cottage sat on the very edge of the forest, on the outskirts of the vibrant city of San Lucero." 

This is the second ARC I was offered to read by the author for an honest review, and I have to say that I am so honored that writers are trusting me with their babies.

The Good: This is the sort of book you take on a beach vacation or just something to slip into a tub of steaming hot water with a great glass of wine.

Its a simple and quick read. Nothing life shattering or altering. Its easy to fall in step with this novel. Its light hearted even when the heart stopping action get rolling. Which I will admit takes a bit of time to get rolling. But it moves pretty fast once it does. The pacing falters slightly in the beginning as if Johnson is afraid of starting the action before she's gotten a chance to explain everything. I like info dumps as much as the next girl, but give me some action from the start. However once that last birthday candle is blown out we are in a Michael Bey film till the last page.

It does take a couple of chapters to finally get into the plot. Which is a tad annoying, but I know the author was trying to give us a better set up so she can use the rest of the book for the actual book. Which is fine because we don't have to stop in the middle of an action scene for a info dump just so we can keep up.

The Bad: You know how you read a book and all you get is the protagonists and antagonists thoughts and POV and you think to yourself 'gee I want to know what Character A is thinking right now'. Well this book is that thought. Every little errant thought that crosses through any characters head is written out. So this book is that cure all that you've been looking for. Some things don't need to be written out at the exact point. Instead of writing out that Sam was annoyed at something. Just say Sam rolled his eyes to the heavens. That conveys and gives us more than writing out his annoyance.

Sometimes less really is more.

Johnson switches between utter simplicity and overcompensating. Its like watching Forest Gump and that fat guy from Balls of Fury playing ping pong. Its fun for a few minutes, but after awhile you stumble away with a headache wondering if your sister suddenly became a twin.

I hate the song, but I wanted Alexa and Caleb to get us some Blurred Lines. Quibble over doing the right thing just once. Make the worst decision in the history of making decisions. I like squeaky clean characters in my Disney movies, not in my fantasy novels. Both of them are great characters don't misunderstand but they are too great. Sure Alexa is unsure of herself in the beginning, but that should carry over into her life choices and actions. I want some indecision, some clouded judgement on her and Caleb's part. I the two of them together in a scene is sweeter than a slice of pecan pie.

Final Thoughts: Light and easy read that helps chase away those lonely birds when you have an empty house and awaiting the start of The Walking Dead and you've ran out of ice cream.


Saturday, October 5, 2013

Book Babblings

Possession by J.R. Ward 

The Nitty Gritty: We are back folks for another round of Heaven vs. Hell. The angles had suffered some major losses, and Jim is tired of it. So he sets out to snatch something back from the jaws of hell itself.

Jim Heron had just given Devina a deal of a lifetime. Sissy Barten's soul for a flag. Those flags that represent the wins for each side.

Cait Douglass is a woman on a mission. With a new body, new hair style and new attitude she is crawling herself out of her comfort zone and she starts with the sexy songbird at the Black Crow. G.B could sing the stars out of the sky with his sultry voice and heartfelt words. Cait is instantly attracted. As she goes to meet him for a date a mysterious man pulls her attention

Duke Phillips is a black cloud looking for a landing strip. Being a bouncer at the Iron Mask affords him the fight club he needs to keep himself on an even till. Until a blond bombshell rocks his solitary life to its foundation.  

Opening Line: "Okay...where am I? Where am I...where-"

The Good: The sex is of course always good. Better than most erotic writers out there. Its almost more than a pleasure to get to those nuggets of sex slide in between the pages.

The plot twists in Possession were really good. Unexpected really. It gave the series something it had been lacking since the beginning. Surprise.

I have to admit that I feared Sissy would be a pain in the butt, annoying to the point of frustration. She wasn't. There were times where I wanted to slap her silly, but they were fleeting and few in number. Sissy put on her big girl panties and stepped up to the plate. I got a little pissy with her towards the end, but I can see how Ward is going to write out the ending for her and Heron so I can wait that out. I just hope Sissy is going to do what I think she is going to do in the next two books.

Devina. I've got to say that I am digging this "character." Here is a demon with a severe ODC problem, not to mention a delusional sense of love for the enemy.  I don't mean like the fat nerd in English thinking the high school quarter back is going to ask them to the prom. I mean the when Heaven loses Jim will stand with me as the world burns then we will screw till the end of time delusion. Devina honestly believes she is in love with Jim and the he loves her in return. If only the war for the souls of mankind weren't in the way. Then they could be together. This is an illusion of epic proportions. Right up there with me believing Jay Baruchel is going to propose to me. Don't rain on my parade about that please. Have to love a woman committed to her delusions.

The Bad: I had to say that I think Ward is a bit sexiest. Not in the sense that the women don't play central roles, but they are playing THE central roles. None of the souls that have been in play are women. Even the demon Devina isn't a "real" woman. The demon is just wearing a flesh suit with a great rack. I want one of the souls to be a woman. Give us some variety. I am sure there are plenty of women out there with dark and cloudy pasts that she could give us.

The characters are just starting to be interchangeable. I mean you can line them all up in a line and they all look, and sound the same. Nothing is special or different about any of them. All the woman are small, shockingly white, delicate, blond or brunette. I mean Caldwell is maybe an hour from New York. You can't tell me that there aren't black, Hispanic, Jewish, Cuban, Middle Eastern men and women in Caldwell that Ward can give us. Its all just starting to be blah for me. The men are all too huge to be believable with dark sordid pasts that would make Ted Bundy blush. I'm just looking for some variety. Something different. I mean its getting to the point where I can tell you what's going to happen before I read the book and I really hate that because then I don't have to read the books.  I guess its silly to want a white author to give me characters of color, but I don't think thats so far off the mark. Isn't not like we live in a homogenous society. Even Cheerios got with the program and gave us an interracial couple and child.

Get with the program Ward. Give us a sistah, or a chica, damn even the stylist could have been Korean or Samoan. Hell I will take an Italian Jersey Shore style at this point.

I think its beyond silly that the souls of these men all depend on the women in their lives. And its always the women trying to point them in the right direction. As if all women are virtuous. I know it might sound crazy that as a woman I am advocating for a "bad" girl but I am starved for variety here. All around variety. I guess. I want her to play with some different character archetypes and plot devices. Sure you can go with the 'if it ain't broke don't fix it,' or you can take what works and make it better.  

My Hope for the Series: I just want Ward to get back to the basics. We have two more books to go before the end. Let Sissy get into the game and take Eddie's place or give us back Eddie. I hate that the guardians of the Manse of Souls is splintered. I liked them and I want them ALL back in the game. The book was entertaining, but it wasn't her best.


Thursday, September 19, 2013

Book Babblings

Prince of Wolves by Quinn Loftis

The Nitty Gritty: Jacque Pierce is enjoying the end of summer vacation before her senior year of high school starts. While on look out duty for the new exchange student something strange happens. She hears a voice in her head, and the new exchange student tunes our to be a hot Romanian with a secret. 

Her world is turned upside down by the arrival of Fane, and the knowledge that she is his mate. Soon Jacque is pulled into the political world of werewolves as she is claimed a mate by two rival wolves.

Opening Line: "Jacque Pierce sat in the window seat in her bedroom looking across the street at her neighbors house: she wasn't really being nosy she though to herself,  just curious."

The Good: Um...Well I can say that this book gave me the pick me up on a bad. It was a laugh, and the laughs just kept on coming. But not for being a good book.

The Bad: This book is one gigantic obnoxious slice of teenage life. From the characters, to the plot, to the dialogue. The MMC's name is Fane Lupei, which means Crown Wolf in Romanian. Are you kidding me? That's like naming a dragon Draco Fuego. Dragon Fire. Its a punch in the face without so much as a kiss hello. Come on Loftis, you can do better than that. That is beyond cheesy. I mean like Barney at a birthday party cheesy.

The book is supposed to be about Jacque, which is fine by me and Loftis does POV switches which again is fine by me. I like 3rd person limited books. What I don't like it that we get the same scenes from Fane's POV and then Jacque's or vice versa. So the plot never really moves at a steady pace. We take two steps forward and have to rewind back.

I don't even know where to begin with Sally and Jen. Sally is only annoying because she is playing off Jen. I don't know what Loftis thinks of modern teenagers but I don't know what that would display such sexual misconduct and speech with a wonton disregard for any adults in the room. I didn't get it and I wanted to slap Jen hard across the face and then wash her mouth out with Bleach.

They just aren't believable as teens. They should have been adults. Well no, this book should have been trashed or maybe been reworked. If Loftis could have found a great editor and maybe better critiquers. Yes that is a word. Look it up.

Loftis needs to look up subtly in the dictionary, and then learn how to apply it. She spells everything out for us like we are two year olds who don't have the basic inference skills to read between the lines. Instead of leaving Fane as the mysterious Romanian next door and have Jacque and her readers figure out what Fane is she slaps use with him during a info dump on page 7 or something. Give me a break. Let me come to the conclusion that this, and that are going to happen in the book. Don't tell me 10 pages in whats going to happen on page 300.

The humor and sarcasm is so forced in this book she could have made a sausage with it. I mean wearing a Twilight shirt that says Team Edward to meet a wolf you don't want to be mated to? That isn't funny or sarcastic. Its pathetic. So of like an old hooker with sagging bobs and varicose veins walking up and down the street in a too short dress. She's past her prime and needs to sit down, but she keeps going.

Prince of Wolves is that hooker.

Final thoughts: I would rather be stuck on a deserted island with nothing but Twilight to read till I die of starvation than read this book or any in the series every again. And I hated Twilight with a white hot passion bordering on insanity.

0 Hearts

Monday, September 16, 2013

Waiting....Anticipating?

So I was dying to get my hands on Lover at Last. There had been all this build up and tease from both Ward and her fans. When I finally got the first copy from the library I tore into it and had it read in about 7 hours. Hey give me a break I had to go to Bible study that night.

I was less than thrilled with book 11. Though I've loved all the previous books. Well Lover Reborn irked me a little bit. Not the book but just some of the actions of the characters. Namely Xhex. I still don't like her and probably never will. However that is neither here nor there.

Synopsis: Wrath and the Brotherhood are locked in an epic battle over his throne and the very future of the vampire race.

My Thoughts: Lover at Last left me a little disappointed. After 11 books its almost as if Ward has forgotten what her characters sound like. In LAL all the brothers started to sound the same and the stars of the book Blay and Qhuinn were overshadowed by the introduction of new characters and plot lines. I know she had to set up the next book but that still should have taken a backseat to Blay and Qhuinn. I mean she didn't let them finally get together till 500 into the book, and then we had to read about the progression of their relationship in the epilogue. I just didn't think was fair since their build up started in book 5.

So while I am waiting for the King I don't know if I am anticipating it. So many of my favorite urban fantasy books came out of the gates swinging hard only to end up in a dark alley face up with Colombian necktie. I fear the BDB is walking toward that alley. There's enough time for her to turn it all around, but she has to be careful. I mean there are have tidbits about the book released by Ward herself. Apparently we are going to get more Murdher in the book and my only question is...who asked for more Murdher? He's some crazy vamp from Xhex's past do we really need an actual plot line with him in it?  I can't be the only one who doesn't care about him. We get to see more of the orgy chick that services Assail and the Bastards. Like I care about her either.

I think if Ward got rid of all these extra characters and side stories she could focus on the crux of the BDB universe. I'm just praying the BDB don't go the way of the Dodo bird.